I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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