then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
