My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
