omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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