I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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