Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
