Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
