Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
