Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
