im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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