Non-Jews are for practice
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
