Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
