I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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