Can i not drive my cunt home
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
