We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
