We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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