Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
