I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she smelled like a LAN party
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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