Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
