i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
