Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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