I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
