Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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