youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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