Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Im part way to drunk.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
