Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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