Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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