i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize