Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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