Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
