i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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