JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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