We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
