I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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