I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
