Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
