you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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