I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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