Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
