tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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