Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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