remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
