Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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