Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
