Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm jealous of your bromance
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
