and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize