wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
