Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
