ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize