you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
