my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
