Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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