dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize