Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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