I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
