Cold hands, warm shart.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize