oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
