Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
