you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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