if you like me you must not know who I am
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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